Thursday, May 8, 2014

First date

It's crazy to think that Nic and I have not actually spent any time alone since Ayana was born 15 months ago!  Up until last Wednesday that is when Saba offered to come and babysit so that we could go on a 'lunch date'.  We left the two of them sitting at the dining room table together enjoying a late lunch themselves while I quickly swapped my food incrusted toddler jeans for some 'going out in public' clothes and jumped in the car.  We giggled nervously, gave each other shy side ward glances, tried not to check our phones every five minutes to see if Ayana was alright and we talked!  We talked like real people, sometimes even about unbaby related things.  It felt so good, so refreshing, so very adult like! I sipped a margarita (hey why not!), I didn't have sticky little fingers making a dive for my food all the time, nobody was tugging at my shirt trying to get a sneaky milk feed and my clothes were practically still clean by the end of the meal.  Of course by the time we got home (an hour later) I was already missing my little one like crazy, but it also made me realise that I've missed my husband and partner in crime over this past year! 
We are of the co-sleeping/ baby wearing/ breast feeding persuasion, and while I have no regrets about that I can see now how it's time to find some balance between baby and husband.  She's old enough now that I can leave her with my mum or my sister for a couple of hours and know she'll be in good hands.  I'm realising that it's ME with the attachment issues rather than her.  Heck she's having so much fun that she barely notices I've left.
If there's one thing I've learned about this whole parenting game though is that you have to be flexible and open to constant changes. So here goes mama, a new phase is upon us and I need to learn to let go and embrace it!  In the mean time I am counting down the days until our next date.

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