Lately

Phew, so Tuesday night had the three of us huddled in bed together while 145 knot winds howled through the bamboo outside.  The next morning (rather bleary eyed at 530am) we looked out of the window and saw the lawn covered in a brown blanket of autumn leaves and branches.  The power was out, the taps were groaning and empty when we tried to turn them on and the only real comfort were the embers in the fire place still glowing hot from the night before.  We huffed and puffed until the flames began to flicker again, and then sat down to a picnic style breakfast of cold leftover soup and crackers. After that everybody crawled back into bed and by lunchtime our groaning bellies finally prompted us to get dressed and treat ourselves to a Mexican lunch.  By the time dinner rolled around we were still powerless so used the excuse to treat ourselves to Japanese.  So far this power cut business wasn't as bad as it initially seemed.  Sure we hadn't showered in two days, the dishes were piling up in the sink, the toilet was... hmm yeah lets not talk about the toilet... but on the flip side we had full bellies, warm toes and without technology to distract us we actually had some damn good conversations!  Having said all that, waking up and being able to have a hot shower this morning, mmm it felt so luxurious.
xx

Lately

I don't think I could sugar coat the past month even if I tried, it has been a rough one! A good solid year of not sleeping finally all came crashing down around our ears.  Everybody was snapping and snarling, there were plenty of tears (mainly mine), there were fantasies about stealing off into the night to go and find a hotel, unplug the phone and hang a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door just to get a few hours of shut eye.  Now that we're creeping out at the other end I realise that things had to come to a head in order for us to make some changes.  I learned that when it comes to parenthood it pays to be flexible and not have too many die hard ideas about the way things are going to be.  My house will never be tidy, dinner doesn't have to be a lavish affair, no I don't have to go back to work just yet even though everybody else is, Ayana actually prefers sleeping in her own room rather than beside her insomniac mother and yes I had always imagined that I would be breastfeeding until she is at least 2 years old but my body is exhausted and crying out for a break.  All these things are alright!  None of them make me a bad person or put my family in harms way, if anything the harm is coming from ignoring what feels right.  As always the key seems to be going with the flow... something that goes against all my virgo instincts.  Live and learn though eh!
There have been good times too though of course.  We've made an effort to go on some adventures, we've watched Ayana turn into the most incredibly little human (by god I love that kid!), there have been laughs, good food has been eaten, and more concrete travel plans discussed.
So we're definitely happy to see the tail end of May and welcome June with open arms!
xx